THIS VIDEO IS FOR KATIE
I keep rocking back and forth in this video because that’s what I do when I’m excited :3
One day, when I get stamps and become the type of person who mails things, I’m going to return this gesture and it’s going to be WILD.
Every adult within a ten mile radius asked me “So, what’s next?” today at graduation and in all honesty I have no goddamn idea.
If all else fails I’m just gonna become a hand model. I have some pretty fuckin’ hands.
A backstory before we begin: My name is Katelin and I am an eighteen year old paraplegic with Spina Bifida Myelomeningocele. Google can provide you with a much more thorough explanation of what that entails than I can(is that sad?), but what it essentially comes down to is that my neural tube didn’t close all the way when I was born and the result is no feeling or sensation from my pelvis downward. I’ve been in wheelchair all my life. I’ve been incredibly fortunate to have lived a considerably independent existence thus far. I have no learning disabilities and have always gotten good grades in school. I can dress and bathe myself with no difficulty. I can easily cook and clean. I will driving soon as well. I will be able to live on my own one day once I(and my mom) stop being terrified of the world.
There is, however, one particular area of my life in which I’ve always struggled in and that’s sexuality and it’s relation to my body. I really hope I word this post right because, as goofy as it sounds, this subject really is very personal for me and it deserves to be explained as accurately as I can present it. This is actually the first time I’ve ever discussed this at length in any medium(to anybody), so if this post comes off as erratic and poorly written to you well then fuck off because it’s my blog(just kidding, but seriously please bear with me as this is all very new for me). Also, I do feel like I need to point out that these are obviously just my own personal thoughts/experiences and I am in no way speaking for anyone else in the disabled community and I apologize if I don’t end up saying the right things. I am no one’s “voice” but my own and would never pretend otherwise.
ALSO! If you’re someone I know in real life(like a friend or a relative) and have somehow stumbled upon this post, please know that I’m writing this solely as a cathartic purge of things I’ve felt for a very long time and I’m only putting them out there in public because I think it would be good for me to tell them to people who can be objective with me about them(aka people who don’t actually know me in real life). So please don’t be grossed out or embarrassed for me because it’s really not like that and besides, no one is going to be more grossed out and embarrassed by everything than me, so don’t worry!
I’ve been crying for the past hour over how much I’m going to miss my home school teacher. He’s been coming to our house several times a week for the last four years and I don’t know how I’m even going to function without him. He’s been the best teacher in the world and like a member of our family. I would be so much stupider if not for him.
WHY BOTHER EVEN LIKE, GETTING ATTACHED TO PEOPLE AT ALL, YA KNOW? LOL!
Ya girl did really decent, y’all. I got an A on the penis exam I took yesterday too. *cues up “What a Wonderful World”*
Jostens totes spelled my name wrong for my cap and gown, but it’s all good because I’M FUCKING GRADUATING IN LIKE 10 DAYS HOW DID THIS EVEN HAPPEN
As “”“fate”“” would have it, I will actually attend my school’s graduation after all and I’m looking forward to seeing all the people I used to go to school with and having them ask me what I’ve been up to the past 6 or so years and subsequently having nothing to tell them except for how I was “growing as a person” but I don’t think that kind of answer really resonates or something, I mean idk
