A backstory before we begin: My name is Katelin and I am an eighteen year old paraplegic with Spina Bifida Myelomeningocele. Google can provide you with a much more thorough explanation of what that entails than I can(is that sad?), but what it essentially comes down to is that my neural tube didn’t close all the way when I was born and the result is no feeling or sensation from my pelvis downward. I’ve been in a wheelchair all my life. I’ve been incredibly fortunate to have lived a considerably independent existence thus far. I have no learning disabilities and have always gotten good grades in school. I can dress and bathe myself with no difficulty. I can easily cook and clean. I will be driving soon as well. I will be able to live on my own one day once I(and my mom) stop being terrified of the world.
There is, however, one particular area of my life in which I’ve always struggled in and that’s sexuality and it’s relation to my body. I really hope I word this post right because, as goofy as it sounds, this subject really is very personal for me and it deserves to be explained as accurately as I can present it. This is actually the first time I’ve ever discussed this at length in any medium(to anybody), so if this post comes off as erratic and poorly written to you well then fuck off because it’s my blog(just kidding, but seriously please bear with me as this is all very new for me). Also, I do feel like I need to point out that these are obviously just my own personal thoughts/experiences and I am in no way speaking for anyone else in the disabled community and I apologize if I don’t end up saying the right things. I am no one’s “voice” but my own and would never pretend otherwise.
ALSO! If you’re someone I know in real life(like a friend or a relative) and have somehow stumbled upon this post, please know that I’m writing this solely as a cathartic purge of things I’ve felt for a very long time and I’m only putting them out there in public because I think it would be good for me to tell them to people who can be objective with me about them(aka people who don’t actually know me in real life). So please don’t be grossed out or embarrassed for me because it’s really not like that and besides, no one is going to be more grossed out and embarrassed by everything than me, so don’t worry!
Posting this again because a) I feel like it, b) it’s one of the few things(maybe the only thing) that I’ve written publicly that I’m kinda proud of, and c) beautiful wonderful Rachel sent me this article that deals with the same subject matter and I really enjoyed reading it and it hit very close to home for me and maybe someone else would enjoy reading it too.